Too Much
by Akai Tenshi96
Summary: When everything becomes too much, what do you do? When everything seems hopeless and nothing makes sense. Then what do you do? Full summary inside.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did SasuNaru would be canon xD**

Written as pure friendship, but can be seen as Sasunaru if wanted.

Summary: When everything becomes too much, what do you do? When everything seems hopeless and nothing makes sense. Then what do you do? Nothing was worth it anymore, it had slowly disappeared. Where was those things, which he had lived for? Where were those people he wanted to protect?

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><p>Too Much<p>

Almost two years had passed, since he had brought him, since he and Sasuke had returned and pronounced the death of last Akatsuki members, the war was over and Sasuke was allowed back in the village. They had been treated like heroes, but that treatment had slowly vanished. But it was okay, he didn't want to be treated better than anyone else, let alone have people to praise him. He was once again Uzumaki Naruto, Shinobi of Konoha and nothing else. He trained with his friends, he completed missions and he ate at Ichiraku's. That was his life, until it changed.

Slowly as time passed he received less greetings at the street until the day where he received none. The smiles turned into expressionless faces, as he walked through the village, but he didn't care, he still had his precious friends. As long as he had them, he would continue to fake smiles at those, who didn't seem to accept him. Those friends were the very reason for his existence, without them, he wouldn't be in this cruel world of hate and misery. With them he was happy and to him, nothing could change that. How very wrong he was.

10th of October, that was his birthday, and it was also the first day he started to notice the change. The village was holding their usual festival to celebrate the capture of the Kyuubi. He wasn't expecting much, but it didn't bother him, he wasn't used to being celebrated. As he had arrived at the training spot, he'd had a cheerful mood, when he left a few hours later, his expression was emotionless, hiding his sadness and disappointment. Not one had congratulated him, not one had mentioned his birthday, thay hardly even spoken to him.

When he finally got home, his cheerful mood had appeared again. Hope was glimmering in his eyes, it could a surprise party, that would make sense. First they all hurt him, pretending they had forgotten and then they would surprise him and give him the greatest birthday he had ever experienced. Once again he was wrong. He sat in his apartment his mood slowly falling. He could hear the music from the festival through his window, but he didn't join them. No one came and when the clock stroke twelve, he had fallen asleep, crying.

More months had passed, but it seemed he was forgotten. There had been a big party for Sakura in March, when she'd had her birthday, now it was spring. The time where everyone should be cheerful. If there was something Naruto wasn't, it was happy. At first he had been sad, angry, hateful, but all of those emotions seemed to have vanished, actually it seemed that he had no emotions left. Of course no one would notice, everyday he pretended and put on his 'smile'. Every day he fooled those around him. Was this how things were? If it was, the was it worth it?

X

It had bothered him for a quit a long time now. Uchiha Sasuke was currently showering, but one thing or rather one person, kept his mind occupied. Naruto had been acting strange for some time. At first he had ignored it, but Naruto didn't act normal, as he would have expected, instead he faked his smile and filled everybody around him with lies. When had this begun? Why had this begun? What could cause the always so cheerful Uzumaki to change to something this... this emotionless. For months Sasuke hadn't seen a true smile on his face, not even anger or hate seemed natural, it was all forced, faked. Did anyone notice or was he the only one?

He turned of the water and reached for a towel. As he dried his hair he tried to remember, when he had seen the first signs of Naruto faking among them, but he gave up. _Tomorrow_, he promised, _tomorrow I'll ask him, and he better have a good explanation._

X

Naruto was standing at the top of his fathers head, watching the village below him. Why was it that he wanted to protect it? Why did he want to protect a place, which had only caused him pain? Maybe he would find the answer today, as he had decided to give them one last chance to return, what they had taken. It would be their last chance, his last chance.

Once again among the people of the streets of Konoha, he tried to test them.

First test; Kindness. That was the first they had taken from him. It was when they stopped greeting him and smiling at him. It was when those hateful eyes had returned. He chose a random woman at the street.

"Excuse me," he said, her previous smile fading, not a good sign. "Can I borrow a pen, please, just for a moment?" He didn't need one, but she needed to be tested.

"I'm sorry, I don't have one," she said and left as fast as she could. Naruto sighed and used Henge to transform into Kiba. He found the same woman and asked her again.

"Do you have a pen I can borrow," he asked, but this time the answer was different.

"Of course," she said and handed him one. He accepted it and looked closer at her.

"Do you also have a piece of paper?" He tried, the woman checked her handbag and gave him a yellow slip.

"Can this do?" she asked, smiling. He nodded and wrote his name on it and put it inside his pocket. He gave the pen back and wished her a good day. She waved at him while she walked away, when she was out of sight he transformed back into his usual form.

He continued this for an hour more, getting same result every time. Civilians or ninjas, it didn't matter, not one would borrow Naruto anything, while 'Kiba' had no problem getting his hands on everything. When he had decided that the village had failed his test, he began a new one.

Second test; Acceptance. That was the next, which they had taken from him. For so many years, he had tried to gain the village acceptance and respect and for a while it seemed he had successful achieved it. He had defeated both Pein and the Akatsuki leader, he had brought Sasuke back to the village and he had been the main reason, that the five great nations were now at peace.

He used henge once again and walked into a bar in, where he settled himself down at the desk. He tried to talk to the bartender, when the bartender finally noticed he was being summoned, he quickly stood before 'Naruto'. Naruto ordered a lemonade and started to talk about random stuff. He slowly, but surely started to ask him about what he thought of Naruto. The bartender hadn't noticed the slight change in subject and answered.

"Naruto is nothing but a burden to this village," he said, Naruto wanted more and asked him again.

"But didn't he defeat Pein? Wouldn't that make him some kind of a hero?" The bartender looked at him, as if he was mad.

"A hero? Him? Where do you live? On the moon? It was luck and nothing else, besides if Tsunade-sama hadn't been there, the whole village would have been dead. It wasn't his doing, he was just the one fighting, it could have been anyone," he stated, "If anyone deserves to be called a hero, it should be that Uchiha, he defeated the Akatsuki leader, though Naruto tries to convince that he helped him, as if!" The bartender ended his short rant and Naruto gave the money and left without another word.

Everywhere he went, he got the same answer, the same view of Naruto. Sasuke was the hero, not him. Sasuke was accepted, not him. Though none of this was Sasuke's fault, Naruto couldn't help but be mad at him. He took what he had worked for, without even wanting it.

For a moment Naruto regretted that he hadn't just killed the bastard and returned without him, but the guilt would never have left him if he had. That brought him to the third and final test.

Third test; Friendship. They were all supposed to meet at 3 PM, two hours from now, so he felt that he had plenty of time. He found his first victim, Sakura, outside a shop for herbs.

"Sakura-chan!" I exclaimed happily, she didn't even bother to look up, when she responded.

"Go away, I'm busy," she said coolly, she had already failed, so I wouldn't try to push her any further. For her to pass, she should have looked at him, hit him in the face, telling him to stop bothering her, when she was out shopping for Tsunade. She should have yelled at him until his ears couldn't take it anymore and he would escape, but she had unfortunately failed.

He found several members of previous rookie nine, but all failed his test. They all coldly pushed him away, even the members of team Gai, had been cold and unfriendly. A few people had escaped him, but he could figure out their response. People as Shino and Sasuke, who already were unfriendly enough as it was, weren't even worth testing.

It had surprised him though, that both Hinata and Shikamaru, had turned him down, but what could he expect, maybe he just wasn't fit for having friends. They had all failed, but maybe one last chance...?

He chose to arrive at the training spot along with the others. When he arrived, everyone was there. He muttered a little 'Hello', but no one seemed to notice that he was there. He'd had enough, he couldn't stand the painful ignorance anymore, without another word, he left them all, but no one noticed.

What a shame, could he just have waited a little longer, waited until the last person had arrived? Had he just done that, no harm would have come to any of them.

X

He was late, he knew, but he just had to forget where his Hitai-ite was, he couldn't leave without it, he just couldn't, it would be sign of disrespect. He ran against time, but he wouldn't make it. So what if he was late, they wouldn't begin without him, besides none of them had a good sense of time, they probably wouldn't notice, that he was a few minutes late.

He arrived at the training spot, everyone was there, except one. Then I guess I'm not the last, he thought and smirked. It was so typical of the blonde to be late. He moved closer to Shikamaru, who was avoiding the small fight that the others had started about, who was the tallest or something stupid like that.

"Where's Naruto?" he asked, trying to act dumb, he looked at Shikamru, who seemed confused. He looked around and back at Sasuke again.

"Dunno, he was here a minute ago," he answered, clearly confused. Sasuke studied the group before him. No, Shikamaru hadn't been wrong, he wasn't here. He couldn't feel his presence either. Had he just disappeared or was Shikamaru just confused and Naruto hadn't really been here in the first place. Sasuke doubted that, he hadn't yet experienced the day, where Shikamaru had been wrong. You could always trust that his words were true, especially, since he wasn't the type who lied, when it wasn't needed.

Naruto couldn't just disappear, there had to be a reason, maybe it was connected to his strange behaviour, Sasuke had noticed. Without further explanation, he left the group to find his friend.

X

By a lake, inside a great forest, outside the Village of Konohagakure, where a young man, his name; Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto sat by the lake, his back leaning against one of the great trees covering him from view, anybody who passed the lake would not notice him, unless you stood at the other end of lake, but chances of the happening were small, since there were only a wall of rocks on that side.

Naruto sat with a very fascinating object in his hands. He turned it around admiring the design of the handle and the blade. The fine sharp edge of it, which could change so much in such a short time.

The kunai he held, was his ticket to freedom. One cut could end it all. One cut could set him free. He was tempted, never had taken his own life seemed so appealing to him. He'd had the thought before, but back then he hadn't lost anything, he hadn't been in so much pain, the pain which only came from loss.

He finally understood what Sasuke had meant, when he'd said that he didn't understand him. The pain of losing, was far greater than the pain of loneliness. The pain of loss, did not only involve the loneliness as he had felt before, it also held helplessness, sadness and sorrow. The pain of loss, was unbearable, overwhelming and too great to overcome. He had never in his life experienced anything like this before. It was like a force, trying to pull him down into a great hole, which only became deeper as time passed.

He pulled up in his sleeve and revealed his bare wrist. His skin was of it's purest and not a single scratch was upon it. Soon that would be changed. He held the kunai close to his skin, the sun reflected in the blade, but it didn't bother him, in fact, it only made this moment perfect, his very last before it was over.

Now all he had to do, was to suppress the power of the Kyuubi with his own charka to prevent it's healing powers. He tightened his grab around the handle and cut through his skin. The blood covered his hand and the smell filled his nose thrills. Not long passed before Uzumaki Naruto passed out from blood loss. Had he only waited a few more minutes or even seconds, he wouldn't have suffered, they wouldn't have suffered. Had he only known, that he was making a mistake.

X

He had been looking for him all over the village, he had been at his favourite places, asking if anyone had seen him, but he was gone, simply disappeared into nowhere. Sasuke was beginning to get worried, Naruto couldn't just disappear, he had to be somewhere. He left the village to look in the area around it. There was a forest, maybe he was there. Sasuke doubted it, he knew Naruto hated it, when he couldn't see the sunlight on a bright day. He searched in the forest, when he suddenly came to a clearing. The sunlight was reflected in the surface of the water and grass somehow seemed more green here, than anywhere else. He was about to leave the magical place, when he noticed something behind one of the trees.

He slowly approached it and suddenly he realized what it was. He hurried to his friend, who's lifeless hand he had spotted. When he saw him a terrifying sight met him. Naruto's skin white as snow and his lifeless body looked weaker than ever. The blood from his wrist were colouring the green grass, blood red. The kunai was held weakly in his other hand strains of blood were clear.

Sasuke knelled beside his friend and wrapped his bleeding wrist in bandages and checked for a pulse. _ 'Please, don't be dead, don't be dead, please'_ Sasuke thought to himself. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and his vision became blurry from the water that filled his eyes. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't.

And there it was, the small beat against his fingers that he wanted. He took his lifeless body of a friend up in his arms and carried him bride style to the hospital. The medics saved Naruto just in time and Sasuke was informed, that if he had arrived any later, Naruto would not have survived, because of the major blood loss.

Sasuke was confused. What could cause the blond into so much pain, that he would try to take his own life? Sasuke had always admired Naruto for his unbreakable will and spirit, but he had never thought that he, in the end, would give up. Give up on life. Naruto had always sworn that he never would back down from anything and that giving up was something he was able to do, but now he had given up everything. Why had this happened?

Sasuke sat beside the blond, who was unconscious at the moment. His skin wasn't as pale as before, but it hadn't returned to it's right colour either. Even his golden spikes seemed to have lost it's power and lay flat on the pillow.

Sasuke reached for Naruto's hand and held it. With this hand he tried to end his life, with this hand he had given up on life. Sasuke couldn't help but feel that this, somehow, was his fault. If he had just tried to help him earlier, then it wouldn't have come this. He could have tried to solve whatever problems he had and comfort him in either way he needed.

Sasuke squeezed Naruto's hand little harder and intended to stay by his side until he woke up.

X

"_Monster!"_

"_Demon!"_

"_Go to hell!"_

"_Why wont you just die?"_

"_You are nothing but a burden!"_

Naruto tossed his head from side to side, trying to get the voices out of his head. He could feel sweat streaming down at his face, blending with the tears that ran down his cheeks.

His eyes shot open and he stared directly up at a completely white ceiling. He turned his head to the window. It was night and the moon shone directly into the room, brightening it just enough to see. Naruto was confused, he knew where he was, of course, he had been here before, but hadn't worked? It should have worked, unless, unless someone found him. Someone, who could have prevented the bleeding from becoming fatal.

Naruto suddenly became aware of something touching his hand or rather _holding _his hand. He turned his head again. Just beside his bed were an asleep Sasuke. He was leaning against the bed, while holding his hand. Was he the one, who had brought him here? And if so, why?

Confusion overwhelmed Naruto, why would Sasuke, of all people, save him? Even though Naruto had tried, he and Sasuke hadn't really talked since he had brought him back. He had been avoiding him as much as possible, he had spoken to everyone else beside him. Of course, they had been forced to talk to one another sometimes, whilst under a mission or something, but never really out of interest, so why would Sasuke go to the trouble of saving him? It made no sense.

Sasuke was slowly awakening his light slumber and Naruto got aware of the tears, that still were visible on his face. He tried to wipe them away, but he found himself too weak to move his arm.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"How are you?" He asked, his voice sounded concerned, which was something you rarely experienced, when you were around Sasuke. He was always cold and made it sound like he didn't care about anything.

Naruto opened his mouth to answer 'I'm fine', but his throat was to dry and wouldn't allow him to any noise beside a cracking, dry sound. Sasuke quickly reached for some water and gave to him. Naruto drank it and Sasuke asked once again how he was.

"I'm..." He wanted to say fine, but couldn't, he was just so damn mad at Sasuke, he should just have left him on his own instead of messing everything up, but on the other hand he wanted know, if he really was the one who had saved him. He couldn't really decide weather he should be mad or curios, but in the anger won.

"What the hell are you doing here? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? Why? Is that simply too much to ask? Huh?" He shouted, though the volume of his voice wasn't higher than normal.

Sasuke seemed to be taken aback by this, he hadn't expected that would be mad. Actually he had expected him to be calm and just lying and denying the whole thing, but it seemed that wasn't what was going to happen.

"You know, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," he said softly, "You have seemed pretty much out of it lately, I just didn't realize..." he trailed off. He was still holding Naruto's hand and he didn't intend to let go. He lifted the hand and took it between his.

"Do you know how much you made me worry?" He asked, "Do you know how much damage this hand of yours caused?" He closed his eyes and held the hand closely to his heart.

"Why do you care?" Naruto snapped back, trying to sound offending, but his voice was far to weak to do so.

Sasuke opened his eyes again. He looked at Naruto before answering.

"You ask why I care? Why do you think? Because I care for you, because you're my friend, that's why. You mean a lot to me, even though I don't show it, you are very precious to me," he said, "I wouldn't want to lose you,"

Naruto was surprised by this. Sasuke really cared for him. Then there was still a meaning for him to stay, wasn't there? If just one person cared, he was going to be alright. And then it hit him, it was just like back then. Back when they had been kids and they had both been lonely, when he and Sasuke had formed their precious bond. Sasuke had always been the person to lighten up his life. He had always been there for him and cared for him. Sasuke was the reason his life worthwhile. The one that could make him go on even though the whole world was against him.

He was crying again and Sasuke softly wiped away his tears and pulled the blonde closer.

"I won't leave you, I promise," Sasuke whispered in his ear. Just words he needed to hear. The promise of not being left alone. Sasuke continued to hold the blonde until he was fast asleep and as promised he didn't leave his side for one moment.

X

Sasuke stayed with Naruto for his entire stay at the hospital and Naruto seemed to lighten up. Sasuke even saw one of his smiles, one that he did not fake. The blond even ended up telling why he tried to commit suicide. Sasuke couldn't help, but feel guilty as his worries became truth. On the other hand he also blamed the others, they hadn't been there for him either. Sasuke promised himself that he mention this to them and claim that they started acting as friends instead of taking him for granted.

When Naruto was allowed to leave the hospital, Sasuke walked him home and made sure, that he had everything he needed and that he was alright. Just when he was about to leave, he turned to face the blonde again.

"Say, Naruto, why don't you come to my place? I can take care of you, just until you fully recover," he said. He suddenly found himself in a hug.

"I would love to," The blonde answered.

And so it was, Sasuke took care of Naruto and kept his promise of never leaving him alone.

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><p>Review? Please ;)<p> 


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